Save my freaking soul

So I’ve had a pretty rough week, hence the lack of posts. I really need to get back into daily jogs and meditation, my anxiety and stress levels are out of this world. I might as well just face plant into my candy dish when I get home from work, because both my fiancé and I know I’m never coming up for air. Stress eating has now reached an all new high. Which really sucks when you’re trying to tone your body.

Not a lot has changed in the wedding world, we’ve started putting together our playlist for the wedding. Well when I say we, I mean me. Im sure the day before our lunch date with our Dj Dev will give me thirty songs he likes. And I’ll scramble with listening to them all and making sure we both agree on the set up. The real struggle though is that I’m still stuck on how I’m expected to choose four out of the six ladies I want for my bridal party. I only have one slot left and it’s literally killing me. I don’t understand how I am supposed to choose. I really wish Devon would just suck it up and ask two more people to be groomsmen so I can have my full six! I know I will be punched in the face in their thoughts and dreams if I don’t choose certain people.

But it’s my wedding. At least that’s what I keep telling myself, but I know I can’t do this all alone. I need help from my friends to keep me totally fricken sane and push (roll) me down the aisle when I start hyperventilating. Pick your top four is what I say to myself because I need a good bridal party, but then I remember they’re all different and I need each and every one of them. No seriously, I do. I need them all! Otherwise it would be so much easier but they’re all number one in my book. And then another thought runs through my mind, are they all going to get along? And I know the answer to that without even thinking about it, no. Hell no. There’s already four out of the six I can see butting heads with each other, which means no matter which ones I choose I’m basically screwed. I just need to prepare myself for the clenched jaw conversations I’m bound to have with them about each other. How so and so is judgmental, so and so is too loud and so and so is unreliable. There will be multiple conversations like this, even on the day of the wedding I’m sure. But this is why I love my friends. Not because they can’t get along with each other but because they are all so unique. And I never have to question whether or not they really like someone or something, they’ll tell me. Well, at least 66% of them will, again with that four out of six scenario. And I find myself back at step one, begging and pleading that Devon increases his groomsmen to six. But for those of you reading that know Devon, you know it’s never going to happen. So I’m stuck with having to choose between my friends. SMFS.


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